Monday, October 1, 2012
Quality sportsmanship in Online games.
My first try at a comic, in which I've ripped off took inspiration from Matthew Innman from TheOatmeal.com
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Get off of your high horse.
Have you noticed how everyone nowadays is a top of a high horse?
It's the new "making-a-difference"-while-being-an-insufferable-dipshit-about-it trend that everyone is having a collective boner about.
Look at recycling for example, everyone gloats about how they help the ambient by recycling their waste and it makes such a huge impact on everything, as if they're freaking Captain Planet incarnate because instead of just throwing waste they put some of it separated in a different bag to send it off to recycling.
Now, that sounds horribly convenient and easy right? if making such a "big impact" (like those jackasses tell you it does, all while reminding you of how horrible you are for not taking part in their recycling rituals) is so easy, how come we still have any waste troubles at all?
Because it doesn't make jackshit of a difference, that's why.
According to this, and many other sources, household waste is about 11% of the total, and that's for the UK, let's take a look at this quote.
"Year 2002: (This note is dated, but nothing of substance has changed). Waste management in the U.S. is in a state of anarchy with no effective federal plan in place to maximize recycling and minimize waste. America generates more waste every year, growing from a 247 million tons of non-hazardous waste in 1990, to 409 million tons in 2001, according to Biocycle magazine, an industry publication. Although 32% of municipal waste is reported to be recycled, there are two problems with this picture. One is that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimated in 1988 that municipal waste was only 2% of all waste generated, and secondly, the total amount of waste generated, recycled, or disposed is not truly known because the EPA has not collected or confirmed that data. Failure to so is in violation of federal requirements. " - Source
But hey, for the sake of argument let's put that amount in between of those two, say it's a 7% of it that is generated by households
Then you have the little thing that only a part of that 7% is truly eligible for recycling, for example, sometimes a good amount of that waste cannot be recycled, like with hazardous wastes which most of the time can not be recycled (or your city lacks a facility that can handle it).
So that amounts to about four to five percent of the total waste, congratulations, your effort is barely bigger than an error margin!
If you assholes were so worried about the ambient, you'd spend all the energy you use having tantrums about mother nature and being on top of your high horse with a dildo shaped mounting chair going after the real producers of waste.
Say, those that produce over twenty (twice that if you consider I doubt mining and others have much recyclable waste) times the amount of waste you do, and also have almost no regulations on their waste because giving a few bills to a few political whores gets them laws that require a ridiculous amount of care for the ambient (read that as ridiculously low, they can blast waste into rivers if they so want to).
But of course, that would require actual thinking!, you cannot afford to have your day interrupted by such things, right? informing yourself about which candidates support ambient friendly legislation takes time and effort, researching a little which laws the congress might be treating that could worsen or better the situation would mean you couldn't spend all your time in an onanist Eco-frenzy, wanking everywhere you go about being an ambient advocate and ejaculating your moral superiority onto other peoples faces.
That reminds me of the morons with their Facebook campaigns (much much worse than the recycling, because at least recycling makes a tiny sliver of a change), where the fuck did you get the idea that changing your profile picture to a cartoon stops child abuse? does a kid beater go on Facebook and upon seeing his friends changed their profile pictures to The Simpsons and Ren&Stimpy thinks "Oh, man I loved Ren&Stimpy, I guess I won't beat the shit out of Timmy today for being such a fucking enraging idiot", my mind boggles trying to understand the train of tought behind this campaign.
I get it, it tries to "raise awareness", raising awareness isn't going to do shit, you saying "I care!" isn't going to do shit, first of all because if you truly cared you would put a real effort behind it, you're all just posing on care-mode because it lets you be morally superior dipshits. It's the new trend of somehow trying to be active in politics while doing the least effort possible, even if your puny effort amounts to absolutely nothing because last I checked, if you want something done you have to work your ass off for it. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, that's why we have idiots all over the place picking easy careers and then whining they get no jobs because they have earned no real skills in the whole four years they spent memorizing a few philosophy catch phrases and getting tanked on Pabst blue ribbon.
Back to the campaign, check that again, that page has almost a hundred thousand fucking likes, there's 100,000 people out there that legitimately think that changing their profile picture to a cartoon makes child abuse suddenly stop.
Everyone wants to ride that moral high horse while being the least inconvenienced by it. It's not possible, step up your game and do something that truly matters.
It's the new "making-a-difference"-while-being-an-insufferable-dipshit-about-it trend that everyone is having a collective boner about.
Look at recycling for example, everyone gloats about how they help the ambient by recycling their waste and it makes such a huge impact on everything, as if they're freaking Captain Planet incarnate because instead of just throwing waste they put some of it separated in a different bag to send it off to recycling.
Now, that sounds horribly convenient and easy right? if making such a "big impact" (like those jackasses tell you it does, all while reminding you of how horrible you are for not taking part in their recycling rituals) is so easy, how come we still have any waste troubles at all?
Because it doesn't make jackshit of a difference, that's why.
According to this, and many other sources, household waste is about 11% of the total, and that's for the UK, let's take a look at this quote.
"Year 2002: (This note is dated, but nothing of substance has changed). Waste management in the U.S. is in a state of anarchy with no effective federal plan in place to maximize recycling and minimize waste. America generates more waste every year, growing from a 247 million tons of non-hazardous waste in 1990, to 409 million tons in 2001, according to Biocycle magazine, an industry publication. Although 32% of municipal waste is reported to be recycled, there are two problems with this picture. One is that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimated in 1988 that municipal waste was only 2% of all waste generated, and secondly, the total amount of waste generated, recycled, or disposed is not truly known because the EPA has not collected or confirmed that data. Failure to so is in violation of federal requirements. " - Source
But hey, for the sake of argument let's put that amount in between of those two, say it's a 7% of it that is generated by households
Then you have the little thing that only a part of that 7% is truly eligible for recycling, for example, sometimes a good amount of that waste cannot be recycled, like with hazardous wastes which most of the time can not be recycled (or your city lacks a facility that can handle it).
So that amounts to about four to five percent of the total waste, congratulations, your effort is barely bigger than an error margin!
If you assholes were so worried about the ambient, you'd spend all the energy you use having tantrums about mother nature and being on top of your high horse with a dildo shaped mounting chair going after the real producers of waste.
Say, those that produce over twenty (twice that if you consider I doubt mining and others have much recyclable waste) times the amount of waste you do, and also have almost no regulations on their waste because giving a few bills to a few political whores gets them laws that require a ridiculous amount of care for the ambient (read that as ridiculously low, they can blast waste into rivers if they so want to).
But of course, that would require actual thinking!, you cannot afford to have your day interrupted by such things, right? informing yourself about which candidates support ambient friendly legislation takes time and effort, researching a little which laws the congress might be treating that could worsen or better the situation would mean you couldn't spend all your time in an onanist Eco-frenzy, wanking everywhere you go about being an ambient advocate and ejaculating your moral superiority onto other peoples faces.
That reminds me of the morons with their Facebook campaigns (much much worse than the recycling, because at least recycling makes a tiny sliver of a change), where the fuck did you get the idea that changing your profile picture to a cartoon stops child abuse? does a kid beater go on Facebook and upon seeing his friends changed their profile pictures to The Simpsons and Ren&Stimpy thinks "Oh, man I loved Ren&Stimpy, I guess I won't beat the shit out of Timmy today for being such a fucking enraging idiot", my mind boggles trying to understand the train of tought behind this campaign.
I get it, it tries to "raise awareness", raising awareness isn't going to do shit, you saying "I care!" isn't going to do shit, first of all because if you truly cared you would put a real effort behind it, you're all just posing on care-mode because it lets you be morally superior dipshits. It's the new trend of somehow trying to be active in politics while doing the least effort possible, even if your puny effort amounts to absolutely nothing because last I checked, if you want something done you have to work your ass off for it. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, that's why we have idiots all over the place picking easy careers and then whining they get no jobs because they have earned no real skills in the whole four years they spent memorizing a few philosophy catch phrases and getting tanked on Pabst blue ribbon.
Back to the campaign, check that again, that page has almost a hundred thousand fucking likes, there's 100,000 people out there that legitimately think that changing their profile picture to a cartoon makes child abuse suddenly stop.
Everyone wants to ride that moral high horse while being the least inconvenienced by it. It's not possible, step up your game and do something that truly matters.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Possible guilty pleasures for the filthy rich.
Imagine you lived in a world where your every expense is paid, you won't have to worry about money, ever again, 10 generations from now, your great grand grand grand son will still be living a life of extreme luxury.
Now take a moment to think, you will most likely live to a century old (if not more, given how amazingly fast medical science is progressing) and will be somewhat active for a big part of that life, at some moment you will have banged every desirable woman, snorted cocaine out of every porn star's ass and indulged on items (drugs) that any commoner couldn't possibly get their hands on if they saved and sacrificed their whole life for that goal (lots of drugs).
Now, there's a moment in which you will be craving for more, like a junky that needs a decadent luxury fix, or a fat guy who needs his daily chocolate bar, that eccentric, ridiculous and expensive chocolate bar.
Nothing says tasty like meat from an endangered species, you shouldn't look just for any endangered animal however, you may first think of tigers, but tigers have already been done vastly by mister Charlie Sheen and he might become extremely aggressive (towards you) if you dare put your filthy manicured hands on his tiger blood supply, and it is public knowledge cocaine grants the man wizard-like powers.
And the first rule our father taught us while under the influence of some of the most potent hallucinogens known to man is, you never, ever, mess with a wizard, they will fuck your shit up.
No, you need something better, something that has not yet been done and if possible tingles your God complex and liking for ironic punishment.
Thus I present you, the panda bear:
You will be ironically punishing the shame of the bear family by eating the little babies science has worked so hard convincing those pussified creatures to create, laying science's and panda's efforts to waste with ease, and showing them continuation of biodiversity lies solely in which species your digestive tract does not desire.
Also a little secret, between you and me, extinction is the best dressing.
Doing it by force of course!
Deep in the vastness of space, a group of mercenaries awaits your command as long as the pay is right, you may live your fantasies of being Captain Jack Sparrow with your crew newlybought ,acquired, hired bloodthirsty mercenaries that will do your bidding.
Of course no tale of pirating is complete without sweet, sweet revenge on those who have wronged you, teach Ted and his bitch of a wife Clara a lesson that only the sharp cold edge of steel can teach, he will instantly regret that time he called you "asshole junkie who has to have shitty music roaring at 4am" and called the cops on you.
Of course I doubt many people are willing to fight to the death in a Colosseum for little to no pay (you didn't get rich by paying for everything), so you will have to get them in the mood with hallucinogen dosages so high they think they've become a time travelling stoner dinosaur.
The only downside to this is that your fighters might get overly baked and just start shouting incoherences and obscenities at you and your prized spectators, but it is not like being near to an angry, under the influence person who carries multiple bludgeoning and slashing weapons is dangerous if they're inside a cage, it's not like they have firearms...
Shit! they've gone out of the cage, the whole place is going to be a mess, how am I going to explain this to my wife? I just wanted some luxury on my life, not to transform my ten million mansion into a war zone.
OK, chill, calm down, there has to be a way to fix this, who could possibly want to fight a crazed enraged prisoner of war high on every kind psychoactive plant for almost no pay? after those maniacs ravaged the place in their fighting all we have left is five bottles of cheap liquor.
A bum? you can't be... wait that's genius, they'd do anything for cheap liquor, even risk their life if given enough of it.
Yes! kick his ass! I will call you Homeless Jaa and we'll film Hobo with a shotgun II : Kung fu edition.
Hold on, why are they talking as if they're best buddies? are you guys seriously gonna share your liquor? what do you mean with "that rich white guy sure looks like he'd give us more if we put two caps in...".
Oh shit, shit.
Disclaimer : This article is written for comedic purposes, please, do not eat a panda.
Now take a moment to think, you will most likely live to a century old (if not more, given how amazingly fast medical science is progressing) and will be somewhat active for a big part of that life, at some moment you will have banged every desirable woman, snorted cocaine out of every porn star's ass and indulged on items (drugs) that any commoner couldn't possibly get their hands on if they saved and sacrificed their whole life for that goal (lots of drugs).
Now, there's a moment in which you will be craving for more, like a junky that needs a decadent luxury fix, or a fat guy who needs his daily chocolate bar, that eccentric, ridiculous and expensive chocolate bar.
1. Meals prepared with endangered species.
Nothing says tasty like meat from an endangered species, you shouldn't look just for any endangered animal however, you may first think of tigers, but tigers have already been done vastly by mister Charlie Sheen and he might become extremely aggressive (towards you) if you dare put your filthy manicured hands on his tiger blood supply, and it is public knowledge cocaine grants the man wizard-like powers.
And the first rule our father taught us while under the influence of some of the most potent hallucinogens known to man is, you never, ever, mess with a wizard, they will fuck your shit up.
No, you need something better, something that has not yet been done and if possible tingles your God complex and liking for ironic punishment.
Thus I present you, the panda bear:
It looks a bit like a pig, and it is just as delicious.
You will be ironically punishing the shame of the bear family by eating the little babies science has worked so hard convincing those pussified creatures to create, laying science's and panda's efforts to waste with ease, and showing them continuation of biodiversity lies solely in which species your digestive tract does not desire.
Also a little secret, between you and me, extinction is the best dressing.
2. Space Pirating.
What could possibly be better than illegally taking what should be rightfully yours?Doing it by force of course!
Deep in the vastness of space, a group of mercenaries awaits your command as long as the pay is right, you may live your fantasies of being Captain Jack Sparrow with your crew newly
Of course no tale of pirating is complete without sweet, sweet revenge on those who have wronged you, teach Ted and his bitch of a wife Clara a lesson that only the sharp cold edge of steel can teach, he will instantly regret that time he called you "asshole junkie who has to have shitty music roaring at 4am" and called the cops on you.
3. Hallucinating Colosseum Death match.
After your meal and touring with your newly acquinted friends, you may want to settle for a spectacle worthy of your (and your friends) filthy rich eyes.Of course I doubt many people are willing to fight to the death in a Colosseum for little to no pay (you didn't get rich by paying for everything), so you will have to get them in the mood with hallucinogen dosages so high they think they've become a time travelling stoner dinosaur.
The only downside to this is that your fighters might get overly baked and just start shouting incoherences and obscenities at you and your prized spectators, but it is not like being near to an angry, under the influence person who carries multiple bludgeoning and slashing weapons is dangerous if they're inside a cage, it's not like they have firearms...
Actually...
Shit, shit shit shit!, they did have firearms, was it your idea Jamal? why the hell would you give them firearms? they're completely baked, one of them was shouting that he never had a cake resist being eaten before while chewing on the face of the other fighter.Shit! they've gone out of the cage, the whole place is going to be a mess, how am I going to explain this to my wife? I just wanted some luxury on my life, not to transform my ten million mansion into a war zone.
OK, chill, calm down, there has to be a way to fix this, who could possibly want to fight a crazed enraged prisoner of war high on every kind psychoactive plant for almost no pay? after those maniacs ravaged the place in their fighting all we have left is five bottles of cheap liquor.
A bum? you can't be... wait that's genius, they'd do anything for cheap liquor, even risk their life if given enough of it.
4. Train a street bum to cage fight and start an underground betting tournament Ong Bak style.
Yes, definitely, nothing like a partially demented hobo in a cheap-alcohol induced battle trance to fight a completely demented stoner with firearms.Yes! kick his ass! I will call you Homeless Jaa and we'll film Hobo with a shotgun II : Kung fu edition.
Hold on, why are they talking as if they're best buddies? are you guys seriously gonna share your liquor? what do you mean with "that rich white guy sure looks like he'd give us more if we put two caps in...".
Oh shit, shit.
It would seem your idea backfired, you're on your own here buddy
Wait you cannot leave me like this? I'm going to be some sort of hobo-hooker that dispenses thunderbird and cheap wine!Yes, that's why I'm working on my next guide, "Which drinks to dispense to the friendly hobo who has taken you hostage and yells the little guy in the pink ballerina should serve him wine with a sponge massage on the back alley".
The guy with the pink... oh damn you, I hate you so much.Disclaimer : This article is written for comedic purposes, please, do not eat a panda.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Forum Post : Unexpected downtime.
I think everyone who sees this blog (Hi there! I tought you'd never show up, finally a soul here) knows I game a bit.
Maybe a bit too much at times, either that or procrastinate on the computer while I write inane, annoying, silly things.
Also I do not take downtime of my "games" lightly (I quote games because I mainly do MMORPGs, they're like a drug, closest equivalent is probably meth, or bath salts).
Thus I take a stroll on their forums to do what I don't do when I'm gaming or having a life, write.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Webzen.
Cereal boxes are not the proper way to get servers.
I get there's some sort of recession going on, we're all hit by it more or less and I understand you need to cut corners.
The problem is that either you grossly misunderstand what a corner means, thinking your service is composed entirely of "corners", or you're being dirty cheap.
Instead of wasting ours, and everyone's time having employees whose function is to reply in an alien-esque fashion (only aliens would have such a gross misunderstanding of how a human communicates, your cheeriness is not something people do, unless they're 12 year old girls high on dopamine or ecstasy, I understand most of your alien education comes from holywood movies, but this is not how humans behave), get some better servers, or ISP, or whatever you need for a proper service.
Be sincere with me, are you housing your servers in the nearest ditch to your house/office? did you hire a discount ISP plan? did you get your white hat technicians off a craiglist ad which promised leather clad engineers with sysadmin knowledge?
Please don't let your fetishes get in the way to work, I don't mind if all your employees have a strict dress code of gagballs and crotchless leather pants so long your servers work fine, but they do not.
Also I understand the hilarity of dressing an ape with engineer clothes and letting it run around the office, but having a fancy yellow hat and overall doesn't make him qualified to handle a server, if you will, please have the ape and a real engineer.
Why did you go full release if we're going to have server problems (I'm not sure about European servers, but the US one sure has them) multiple times a week? you cannot even use the "It's a beta!" excuse anymore, were you in a hurry to get some quick bucks with the cash shop?
Yes I know, we have compensation, I honestly rather have the servers functioning correctly than a juicy compensation every time it has a problem.
This is where some people coudn't resist replying in the classy manner that delights us all who waste our precious life on the internet, under the guise of the ferocious asshat.
Original Post by Misaeell (7/22/2012)
Server crashes a couple of times and you have retards complaining over something which will never be perfect.
Go ***** yourself, if you think it's so easy to host the ***** game do it yourself, if you can't do anything to help it then shut the ***** up.
Go ***** yourself, if you think it's so easy to host the ***** game do it yourself, if you can't do anything to help it then shut the ***** up.
Yes, he actually wrote it all underlined and bolded, he wanted to make his rage clear, my reply as it follows was :
My fellow gaming brother, you sure are angry.
Please do not let the fact you cannot game at this moment cloud your reasoning and reduce you to a blob of frothing red-faced madness that flings excreement and obscenities at anything that moves.
I completely understand your frustration with the matter at hand and earnestly wish it to end myself, however attacking your fellow forum denizens is not the way to vent out your frustrations.
As much as you want to behave like a rabid sack of raccoons, this is not the place for such behaviour, for we are discussing serious matters, I suggest you vent your rage by pillaging your neighboors trash bins while shrieking the following : "SHUG NIGURATH HAS TAKEN ME IN THE EMBRACE OF MADNESS, THE DARKNESS IS COMING TO DEVOUR US, ALL WILL BE FUEL AMIGO, ALL WILL BE FUEL", it is an activity I partake into when I feel anger overcoming and overwhelming me and it is liberating.
There was also this person who tought it would be a good idea to post acronyms and accusing everyone of crying (not realizing the only one whining is himself).
Original Post by Onedaymaybe (7/22/2012)
Cry lol.
Took and wrote all this because of server issue LMAO!
Yes, saying "lol" or a variation of it on every sentence you type sure makes you sound smart and
educated.
Original Post by Onedaymaybe (7/22/2012)
Took and wrote all this because of server issue LMAO!
Yes, saying "lol" or a variation of it on every sentence you type sure makes you sound smart and
educated.
Original Post by Onedaymaybe (7/22/2012)
I have other things to do and do not flip my lid because of this.
And rage because of a malfunction.
But do whatever the *&^% you wanna do.
Yet you're flipping your lid because of a forum post, that is also a joke.
And raging because your sense of humour is malfunctioning, perhaps you should learn to live with the fact that after you witnessed an oompa loompa stripper power-raping a guy with a willy wonka costume you will never be able to laugh again because you're dead inside
Original Post by Onedaymaybe (7/22/2012)
K i leave you all to keep sniffling and whining.
Good day
"K", buddy, we'll miss your tears about how you don't like other people posting on your
precious little forums. Good day
"K", buddy, we'll miss your tears about how you don't like other people posting on your
My response :
In any case, you seem to be the one whose response to anything has to be trying to appear tough when in fact you're a broken shell of a man who needs validation from others to justify the awesomeness you feel
your mediocer self deserves, in fact, you seem to blatantly project your issues on others, which only
leaves your apparent insecurities exposed for all to see and woe themselves with your dull-headedness.
One day maybe, someone will pay attention to you in a manner that is not to humilliate you and
marvel in your sheer rampaging lack of wit, one day maybe indeed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The servers came back shortly after and no further posting has been made on the thread as
of the time of posting this, I guess killing another horde of generic monsters beats any sense of
trying to clumsily communicate for your average RPG player.
Let this be a lesson in how to handle forum posting, flinging shit at everyone and
using as many memes and lol-speak as possible will only get you the scorn of others.
Edited : For formatting issues with the blog, copy pasting is no good.
Edit Nº2 : As of 26/07/2012 5:46 AM the thread has been deleted from the forums.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Consume.
My lack of proper activities is consuming my willingness to put any sort of creative power into motion, fuck if I know, but I haven't felt like writing anything that isn't a rant.
Then again, this blog is called the ranting ranch, so I might aswell.
But not before I hook you up with the all new, all shining facebook fan page I've created solely for you, my lovelies who never leave a single comment because you absolutely, totally despise my ass and think indifference will finally kill me (it won't).
So, yes, I want you to like it, and if possible, say stuff on it, it's probably something that'll keep me closer to whomever actually reads what I post here, even if it's just one, two, ten, or a million people.
Here be facebook site.
Then again, this blog is called the ranting ranch, so I might aswell.
But not before I hook you up with the all new, all shining facebook fan page I've created solely for you, my lovelies who never leave a single comment because you absolutely, totally despise my ass and think indifference will finally kill me (it won't).
So, yes, I want you to like it, and if possible, say stuff on it, it's probably something that'll keep me closer to whomever actually reads what I post here, even if it's just one, two, ten, or a million people.
Here be facebook site.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)