I ate too much.

My room has officialy become the fartatorium, more on it tomorrow.

Definite proof that yoga is about crotch feng-shui.

Warning : Might not be SFW (Safe for work)

Now on video.

Apparently I'm a sleepwalker.

There isn't a single day in which I do not wake up in an uncomfotable position.


Sleeping with a ball made of sheets under my back? check.
Sleeping with my hands in the air like I'm in a concert in the middle of a feel-good song doing the wave? check.

I started suspecting my sleep position might not be optimal, especially my neck area, so I bought one of those flat pillows, my doc said it would help with back problems better than a fluffy one.

                                                             Like this, but slimmer.

So ready to sleep, I tuck myself in bed, and wake up the next day relived of my problems.

Or so I would have wished, the pillow was in the floor, while I was sleeping in a position similar to Michael Jackson's moonwalk if it had been done by a spastic monkey after it was given 5 adrenaline shots in a row.

This went on for a week, until it hit me...

What if I were to be a sleepwalker, but not just any sleepwalker, a CONTORTIONIST sleepwalker?

                                              Apparently my favourite sleeping position.

I had to make sure, so I go to bed at night while having the sheets placed around my body, only to wake up with the sheet on the floor with part of it is literally tied to my waist and leg (yes, I have very long sheets), immediate proof of my special sleeping talents.

Now, a sane person would have their doctor know they sleep uncomfortably and try to find a solution to this, I'm pretty sure there are doctors which specialize in sleep and can give you a guide on how to sleep comfortably while not twisting your spine like a dominatrix's whip multiple times a night.

I'm not a sane person.

With the (poor) evidence of my nocturnal deeds, I let my imagination wild, I could be a star, the BIGGEST star, the master of the body joints, the (slept) mind-over-matter ace, the most proficient body-twisting guru in the world, the ultimate yoga sage (isn't that what you people who go to yoga do? uncomfortable positions which revolve around mystical crotch feng-shui?), who woudn't want to do a movie without a person who can twist their joints in inhumane ways?

All of this was thrown to the ground when my friend, whom from now on I'll reffer as Cpt. Buzz Genocide decided to let me know in no uncertain terms that "Dude, at best you'll end up as a circus freak"

                                              He may have this expression on his face.

My stardom career thrown to the ground from the very start, I thank Cpt. Buzzkill and bid him farewell, while I quietly weep at night as I place my body in uncomfortable shapes and try to live a life in which instead of being "Captain elastic crotch" I will only be "that grumpy person who complains a lot about back pain".

The blog layout will change a lot...

Beucase I'm trying to figure out this blog business thing.

In my days, when we wanted to rant, we called the local radio night shows and ranted freely there, you youngings and your internet blogs.

You'll also notice this blog posseses a pageview gadget (which was one of the first things I noticed how to add...) because I'm an egomaniatical attention seeker who desperately needs to know how many people visited the blog to stroke my ego.

No, really, that's the main reason.

This however seems like a nice little something to let some steam out, and maybe give some people a read they might enjoy, better being an angry bitter person on the internet than being such in real life, right?

And don't forget, if you paid the blog a visit, leave a comment, even if you think I suck donkeycocks and should be fed triturated Justin Bieber CDs while subject to a 24-hour marathon of Oprah reruns.

Opinions, why you can be wrong.

I've come against an increasing ammount of people who justify their warped mindset with

"It's my opinion".

Apparently opinions are immune and non-subject to logic, sense, or anything else worthy of the abstract mindset humans have.

Is the educational system this bad that we've come to justify our toughts with a blind bashing of a magic word (the word being "opinion") as the end-all be-all to anyone who disagrees with us?

Now, with this little piece of text in mind : http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...n%20Be%20Wrong

By Odin's beard, can't you people understand this? even a chimp would understand a thought can be wrong, or poorly (badly?) justified.

Are you below a chimp? do you need me to explain this little concept with puppets?

                                                                      Best.Puppet.Ever.

Let us use examples, what if I said "I think everyone who likes X genre of music should be killed", That's an opinion right?

Yet it is intolerant, exceedingly stupid, and to your fear and awe, it might be wrong.

Of course you'll try to justify by saying "it is my opinion", that's what everyone who knows they're wrong do, invoke the mighty sacred word to smite their foes who might foolishly oppose them.

                                                                  "IT IS MY OPINION"

You know what other thing happens when you challenge someone's toughts on a subject?

They invoke their second word, respect.

                                                      "YOU DON'T KNOW RESPECT"

Yes it called for the same image, jolly dolly, if you disagree with someone you're automatically a disrepectful prick, you might not even had called them stupid, you might've just questioned their motives as to why they posses such (unique?) mindset on whatever matter you're talking about, but you have another opinion, therefore you're a disrespecting asshat not worthy of their time.

The next stage of the argument involves rage, with disagreements comes rage, often one sided, often coming from the bright person we're dealing with at the moment, who cannot possibly fathom that in this same dimension there exists a person who thinks different than they do.

Even if their opinion is "Justin bieber is a far better musician than J.S. Bach", which we all know is not true, because the only person who's better than Bach is Lady Gaga.

And that's like, my opinion man.

Edit & Warning : In the process of the discussion, always remember you may be the one who's wrong, if you are, shrug and give it up man, admitting to being off in the subject is better than a continous and unending showcase of idiocy.