Someone told me google translate was cruise control for funny.

So I translated my Mortal Kombat article into chinese, back into english from the chinese translation, back and forth many times.

The result? Johny cage kills a chicken farmer with sunglasses, it is now discovered schools in asia have emergency dragons for blackouts, and many more gems.

---

This is a long-ass title.
A friend of mine told me last week, surprising is the second Mortal Kombat movie in some time.
First of all, let us remember, was almost over, let us know, the Earth is about to begin the exciting soldiers on the battlefield, because there is another big bad evil.

                                      I have a bad case of liver failure, I came to your medication.
Shao fuck "Khan, the most badass, Mortal Kombat, the cheapest boss in the entire franchise (the bash on the shoulder, and killed two, how to break you?)
MK: one is a great, I will let yourself immersed in all of the Photoshop filter effects options.

This is correct, it is one of the need to kill about five minutes of film before the end of the movie's protagonist, Johnny Cage is a lovely, who killed Goro is not only none other, because he broke his neck. The guy wearing the same sunglasses, a pair of expensive bad, he is a chicken farm in a village.

Do you know the movie refers to the serious business when they get rid of the annoying "reason" and "consistency", and began to rape you always cherish your childhood is full of violent video games at the top.
You will see, this is not in the film, the director, to commemorate and recall the only instance, you may have an absolute barrier to engage in Mortal Kombat, but transported to the world is full of black monster, you are precious tears feed Nie, swallow the dearest memories of his own life force.

Also called for the cessation of violence Capoeira explain duel movie, rather than characters, tearing the opponent's internal organs, as shown in the video below.

Another noteworthy mention is that the lightning Barber, for no other reason, because long hair God millions of years ago.
Below zero, than the scorpion, 吕康巴拉卡 and more people a lot, a lot of the film's spectacular battle, the final fight is a sight to see, no other characteristics, because it contains more than struggle.

Pick up the witty banter of the struggle in the first part of this video (click link), encounter each character, you would expect from the 1960s, Jaxx Spider-Man comic, immediately sick the brothers motaro get his ass kicked two tail swipes gang fashion 1930, Ermac is absolutely horrible to play, I do not know how he did his signature move is clearly a "hug my opponent's legs and the final fight, I I hope he falls and scrapes his / her skin is so delicate, I have my head kicked in his behavior, he continued to shoot the viscous liquid, and create another fighter?
I mean really, Mortal Kombat? It is almost literally kicked his ass, superstition, the future the war ermac the symbol.
Another lovely detail, Shao Kahn, he is a cheap bastard the Rincon ass kicked so hard, he needed time to join Motaro.
In addition, I do not know if you noticed, but we can give the the Jaxx metal weapons Prize, the most useless weapon? He is almost behind him, returning him to remove them, all the metallic luster, cover your arms, and then, the boy saw what? Fashion sense? Obstacle in the battle? Your own skills to ensure that you choose to provide one of the obstacles in the world, all fighting in the most ridiculous dismembered losers by the end?
Now the second part (link), Shao Kahn is a fatal, final mistake.
He told Asia, he will fail, so as to awaken bad memories, with the school logo, and his heart tight, emergency father dragon.
The movie just throw away the coherence, logic, reason and a clear signal, it becomes a serious struggle against adverse movement animation of the monster, it will make dance arthritis look like a moment of break dance master's grandfather.
Actor's face, no doubt, their true expression, when the director asked to preview scenes in this struggle, the purely mental disorders, to a certain extent to restore the quiet of the movie (battle scenes, is absurd, even if their standard response, but they are too cheap, and it apparently canceled) just lost it, including web sites, the entrance is definitely not 20 seconds after doing Mortal Kombat Hutch "Harry Potter and the Wizard triad.
Last Lukang Shao Kahn was forced to kick ass so hard, he looked completely out of the self (good acting, or hallucinogens is high enough to show Hydra dragon battle scenes, worms, but his studio on the line, ball actor), last nightmare, rather than defeating Shao Kahn, to change the animal's body Jackie Chan, the latch ditch effort to steal your heart, who does not complete nut studio failed.
Or is it?

Next post might take a while.

I'm noticing a dangerous amount of nonsense, badly placed or absent commas, etc. in my postings.

I always try not to half-ass things, so I'll be trying my first hands at doing some editing and proof reading  of my own, perhaps to raise the blog's quality a bit (the barely any views thing being an indication of its quality) and offer a better reading experience to whomever wanders here.

I will of course edit older posts, too, even if for future reader's sake.

Also to note that this is at best amateur, please do not expect a sublime, supreme quality of literature around here, it's not going to happen, but you gotta start from something.

Edit : The random song button has been updated, it is actually a song part of a movie with a scene that will make you shit your pants with laughter.

This has to be the most awesome thing I have ever seen.

Oh by the way.

Before I forget.

1.

This blog is hilarious, you should read it, all of it : http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/.

I spent the past 3 days doing that, I've never laughed so much in my life.

2.

Random song button - Updated, unfortunately that song was not available at youtube thus I had to upload it myself somewhere else (easier and not-so-nutty about copyright infringement).

Because I only like underground music /Hipster.

Why Mortal Kombat : Annihilation is the best movie ever done in the history of modern cinema.

That's a long ass title right there.

A friend of mine let me know this last week that, surprisingly, at some point in time a second mortal kombat movie had been made.

Let us remember the first one's ending, it ends pretty much with a cliffhanger letting us know that the earth realm's fighters fight is about to begin, because there's another big bad evil out there.

                                      I have a bad case of liver failure, I've come for your medicine.

That is Shao-motherfuckin'-khan, most badass, and ultimately one of the most cheap bosses in the whole mortal kombat franchise(That shoulder bash was unblockable and killed you in 2 hits, how broken is that?).

The start of MK:A is a great one, I will let you bask in all of its special effects straight out of the filter option of photoshop.

That's right, it took this movie about 5 minutes from the ending of the previous movie to kill one of the main characters, none other than the lovable Johnny Cage, the same guy who killed Goro just because he broke an expensive pair of sunglasses got his neck snapped like he was a chicken in a countryside farm.


You know this movie means serious business when they get rid of all that pesky "sanity" and "coherence", and start raping all you have ever hold dear in your childhood filled with over the top violent games.

You will see this is not the only instance in this movie where the director gives absolutely zero fucks about any remembrance and memories you might have about mortal kombat and instead chooses to transport you into a world filled with black monsters who feed upon your precious tears while gnawing, devouring your dearest memories to transform them into their own life force.


The movie also makes an appeal to stop violence by having interpretative capoeira duels instead of characters ripping the opponents innards off, as shown in the following video.

Another notable mention is that Raiden got a haircut, for no other reason than because having long hair went out of style with the elder gods 3 eons ago.

Aside the many, many spectacular fights in this movie, featuring no other ones than sub-zero versus scorpion, lui-kang against baraka and many more, the final fight is one sight to see, because it includes a multiple-way fight.


In the first part of this video(Click there for link) we are met with each character picking their fight with the witty banter you'd expect from a spiderman comic in the 60's, Jaxx, who had to immediately trash talk the brother of motaro who is into 1930's gang fashion gets his ass kicked with two mere tail swipes, Ermac is absolutely terrible at fighting, I don't even know how he made it into the final battle being that his signature move apparently is "hugging my opponent's legs and hoping he falls and scratches his/her delicate skin while I get my head kicked in", after his move he proceeds to... shoot viscous liquid out of himself and create another fighter?...

I mean really, mortal kombat? that's pretty much symbolism for ermac having a fetish for getting his ass kicked and literally coming mid-fight.

Another lovely detail is that Shao Kahn, being the cheap bastard he is, is kicking Lui Kang's ass so hard he takes time to cheer Motaro.

Also I don't know if any of you noticed, but can we give Jaxx's metal arms the prize for most useless weapon ever? he was pretty much getting his behind handed back to him prior to removing them, what's the point of having all that shiny metal covering your arms then, fancy boy? fashion sense? giving a handicap in your fights? are you so sure of your own skill that you choose to give a handicap in a world where all fights end up with the loser being dismembered in the most grotesquely hilarious way?

Now onto part two (click here for link), Shao Kahn makes a fatal, ultimate mistake.

He tells an Asian he will fail, thus awakening bad memories of tight, exigent fathers with school marks and thus his inner dragon self.

This is also the moment where this movie just throws away any sign of coherence, logic, sanity and sobriety and it turns into a full fledged shitty animated monster fight with movement so bad it would make a dancing arthritic grandpa seem like a break dance master.

The faces of the actors no doubt are their real expression when the director asked them to react to the sheer lunacy presented in the preview scene to this fight, however at some point this movie regains composure (that fight scene was ridiculous even by their standards, but they were too cheap to scrap it apparently) just to lose it 20 seconds after including the entrance of a triad of wizards into the scene that have absolutely nothing to do with mortal kombat and more to do with harry potter.

Finally lui kang is forced to kick Shao Kahn's ass so hard he looks completely out of self (good acting or the actor showed up completely high on hallucinogens and was shown the hydra-worm versus dragon fight scene just to make him start tripping balls right in the studio) and at last, the nightmare is over, not before the now defeated corpse of shao kahn's actor morphs into a dragon-beast and has his latch ditch effort to steal your mind thwarted by whoever wasn't a complete nut in the studio.

Or was it?

Been busy...

Totally not wasting all my day playing skyrim.

Even less likely that I have been spending 6 dialy hours shoting cheese wheels out of a tower.

I mean it.

Random song button updated.

Random song button updated, go check it out!.

Not metal this time, I promise, it is pretty pretty music.